Toddler Power Struggles

Dealing with Tantrum Training on your own

A Tantrum

The scene is oh, so familiar to many of us. Lunch has been served and your little one is joyfully smashing grapes with her fork while being contained within her high chair. The meal has been pleasant enough, until you offer her sippy cup of milk. It suddenly seems as though you have not only offended her but the entire human race with the disgrace and she will not settle until you know. The cup is hurled across the room, a steady stream of milk escaping as it makes its way to the floor. Crash! The lid conveniently (or not so conveniently) flies off creating a giant pool of white. This act is accompanied by screams 12 decibels louder than you thought was humanly possible declaring “no milk! JUUUIIICCCEEE!” Your first goal is to calm the raging child and then clean up the mess. You explain in a slightly frantic voice that there is no juice and she must have milk. The little seems to understand and be calmed enough, but as you turn to wipe up the soggy mess you are pelted with grapes.

  “No milk! JUUUIIICCCEEE!” 

If you haven’t had the pleasure of having this experience (or similar ones) yet, just wait. It will come. And come again. And again. A hundred times over. Toddlers throw tantrums. It is, as Nike would applaud, just what they do. It is bound to happen to every child. Being single moms adds a different dimension to this scenario. It is no longer two against one. You are down a man and the offense seems stronger than your defense. It almost seems impossible. Almost.

I have, by living through these terrible tantrums, compiled a list of 5 things to help with the difficult task.

1)    Be Strong:

Kids are smart. They know just how to push the right (or wrong?) buttons just at the wrong (or right?) times. Don’t give in just because they are beating you down. Dr. David and Lisa Frisbie explain the importance of not caving and how to maintain authority in this difficult situation.

2)    Choose Your Battles:

My mother has been saying this to me almost weekly since my little one was about 18 months. And now I am saying it to you. There will be battles. Don’t exhaust yourself over the little things. If she doesn’t want to eat her peas one night, fine. Don’t make it a drawn out power struggle.

3)    She Doesn’t REALLY Hate You:

Thankfully, my daughter is only 2 and hasn’t reached the, “I hate you, mom” stage yet. At least with those words. Kids will scream and kick and yell and cry when you say no. they will treat you as though you gave away their puppy while you ate their candy and snuggled with their favorite blankie when in reality you said to pick up their toys. No matter what they say or do, remember, they love you.

4)    Call For Reinforcements:

When you are on your own you don’t have to be alone. If needed, rely on a friend or family member that also has a good relationship with your child to back you up. It helps. A lot.

5)    It Won’t Last Forever:

This is a phase. Your child is learning and growing. Part of that is testing authority and boundaries. It is how they will learn and understand. It won’t always be a battle about putting pants on before shoes. It will get easier.

At the end of the day, remember to look back, smile, and laugh. These moments are precious and few. They will be gone in an instant.

Share your funny and not so funny toddler tantrum moments with us below!