Sleep. Who Needs It?

4 secrets on how to effectively run on little sleep and not die!

“You look tired. Are you OK?” I can’t count the number of times that I have heard this in the last year or so. Even days when I actually try to look put together, clothes without peanut butter smears or spit-up spots, make-up, and my hair not in a ponytail, I still look tired. And guess what, I am. I remember, almost daily, what my mom told me when I first got pregnant with my daughter, “You’ll never sleep again.” I laughed it off then. Now? No more laughs. Only tears at the sad truth. This lack of sleep has only increased as I have become a single mom and a parent of two.

Precious sleeping babies, my favorite time of day!

Here is a list of my 4 secrets to surviving lack of sleep and not becoming a zombie:

1.      Dress for Success. I have a tendency to wear gym clothes and lounge wear all day every day. It is easy and comfy. If the kids wipe their snotty nose on a t-shirt or spit-up all over a pair of sweats, no biggie. Although dressing this way is easier and comfier it also leads to feeling less energized and motivated. Don’t feel like you have to dress to the 9’s every day, but step out of the ultra comfy clothes and you’ll be surprised how much more energy you will discover.

Been there, felt that. Haven’t all of us?

2.      Nap When They Nap. This is an age old adage. Everyone says it when you have a baby. Well, there is a reason why. You need it! I have never been a napping person. I couldn’t sleep during the day no matter how tired I was. Not anymore. I have trained myself how to nap. It is amazing how a 10 minute power nap can change your day. Don’t worry about the messy house, bills, or laundry. If the kids are asleep (or if you have older kids that can take care of themselves for 10 to 30 minutes) take a nap.

 “Don’t worry about the messy house, bills, or laundry.”

3.      Get Up and Get Moving. Sitting around watching TV or reading a book will make you tired. Don’t get stuck in the no-energy rut. Get outside. The sun gives off important vitamin D that will energize and refuel your body. The kids will benefit as well. Get them in the stroller and go for a walk or run every day. Put on some fun music and have a dance party with the kids. Workout. Do anything; just get your body moving.

4.      Don’t Dwell on the Tiredness. Instead of yawning all day or complaining about how tired you are, get busy. Keep your mind off of it. Play with the kids. Do the things that you need to do. Don’t over schedule your days because this will obviously make you even more tired. But don’t get lazy either. Focus on the tasks at hand, not how tired you are.

These tips will help when you are drained and feeling exhausted. But I have one more trick up my sleeve. A secret to how to get more sleep . . . do you want to know what it is?

Gotcha! I have no idea. Help me out, offer your tips and suggestions below! 

More than "Just A Mom"

The Journey of Self-Discovery

It happens frequently. You meet someone new and they ask the dreaded question “What do you do?” The answer, “I’m just a mom” is the phrase that almost always escapes my mouth. While it is true that I am a mom, why do I use that little modifying “just” word? What does it even mean to be “just” something? I have been figuring out lately that although my most important role and part of me is being a mom, there is much more to me than that.

Two in One

It is hard to separate your mom self from your other self. Before you became a mom, what were you? Me, I was an athlete. I was a student. I was a book-lover, camping-seeker, and chocolate-craver. I was a baker and a foodie. I was me. But after having kids, these attributes and characteristics were quickly pushed aside and being a mom took center stage. Don’t get me wrong, I love love love being a mom. I can’t imagine life without my sweet littles. But I have realized that my other self has become lost. I’m not completely sure what I am anymore. I just am. Or am I more?

I want to find myself again. I want to remember what I like, love, desire, and even dislike. As I have started this journey of self discovery, 4 major ideas have helped inspire and direct me.

•  Get Sentimental. Reminisce about the “old days”. Remember what it was like before the kids (don’t fret; it doesn’t make you a bad mom to think about your life before). I remember TV shows without animated talking animals or obnoxiously catchy tunes that fill my TV screen now. I remember songs and books and movies. Where did you spend your free time? What did you do on your day off? Of course, things have changed. You have grown up and matured. So some things may not be as interesting now. But remembering is key to finding yourself.

Just do it. Don’t make excuses.

• Do It! Get up and get out there. Go do something that you used to love. Find a babysitter (young women in the ward always want to babysit) and take yourself out. Go see a movie with a friend or even by yourself. Love pedicures can’t remember the last time you had one? Do it! Would you spend countless hours at a bookstore or window shopping? Do it! For me, it was playing basketball again. 4 months after my daughter was born I started playing basketball with the women in my Stake on Saturday mornings. This was such an amazing thing for me. I felt more myself than I had before. Sadly, since my son has been born almost 6 months ago, I haven’t found the time. But I am publicly making a goal to get out and play before the month is over! Just do it. Don’t make excuses. The kids will survive a few hours without you and the dirty dishes will still be there when you return (yay?).

 

High School Soccer

• Look Inward. I have found myself in a spiritually stagnant place recently. I’m just kind of floating. I have a firm testimony, no problem there. But I’m not feeling spiritually uplifted. Why? Well, I am not doing the things that will bring enlightenment. Yes, I attend church. My previous post discussed the difficulties encountered with attending church with two littles in tow. Basically, it is not as easy to feel spiritually nourished at church right now. I also can’t remember the last time I studied the scriptures for consecutive days. It’s the little things that bring big results. I finally made it to the temple a few weeks ago, the first time since last August. It was just what I needed. I am telling myself as I share with you to take the extra time to keep yourself spiritually nourished. This has helped me feel much more myself than I have before.

•  Don’t Be Afraid of Newness. You are a different person than you were before kids. Your life has also changed drastically through becoming a single mom. It is easy to say “if only” or “I wish”. But this isn’t possible or even necessary. Start today and work on becoming your best self NOW. Yes, take pieces of your old other self and add them to your new and now other self. Make yourself more than “just a mom”. Pick up new hobbies. Find new TV shows. Make new friends. Don’t forget what you have learned, but don’t settle.

I am a mom. I am a woman. I am a daughter of God. I am me. And I am just fine with that.

This is my new theme song. I love it. Enjoy!

Sunday Fun Day?

How to Love and Survive Going to Church

As a member of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints church attendance has always been very important to me. I feel like a piece of me is missing when I miss a week of church. My sweet 2 year-old daughter already loves church! She gets excited whenever I mention it. Although she loves going to church, it isn’t necessarily always a smooth and easy experience. For us single moms, church often is a difficult battle in many ways.

Here is a list of the top 5 things that can go wrong and how to handle the issues.

1.      Sickness. It seems like since my daughter Charity started attending nursery 6 months ago she has been sick every 5 to 6 weeks. This in itself is an issue. Where is she getting sick? Most likely nursery. That place can be a breeding ground for illness, not because it is dirty or anything, but just the amount of young kids in the same place chewing on the same toys week after week. I try to gauge Charity’s sickness between stay at home sick, stay with mom in Relief Society sick, and little sniffle nursery is OK sick. It is hard because we both hate missing church. And she especially hates staying in RS with me. What I have to tell myself, and tell you, is that it is OK, it is only one week. It is better to be safe than sorry, as they say. Keep the sickness away from the others.

2.      Sacrament Meeting. This is the most important and vital part of church attendance. It is also the most difficult part with little kiddos. Sacrament Meeting lasts an hour and fifteen minutes. A child’s attention span, about 2 minutes. It is a long time for kids to stay quite. A few tools I have found are to bring LOTS of snacks, LOTS of books, LOTS of crayons and paper, and LOTS of quiet toys. Everyone is happier when food is involved. I swear Charity is always munching on something. As far as books and toys, I try to keep church toys and other daily toys separate. This is not only making the toys seem almost brand new each week (2 minute attention span, remember?) but it is also teaching her that church is different. I try to keep gospel related books and toys for church. She loves her “Jesus book” and I love how she loves it.

3.      The 9-18 month stage. Yep, we all know it. If you don’t yet, you will. A child at this age wants anything but to sit quietly for 3 hours. Heck, don’t we all feel the same? Church can be long. This is a challenging stage because these kids have been changing rapidly, learning to walk and talk and how to play and explore in new capacities. Sitting on mommy’s lap listening to an old guy talk for an hour or so is not what they want. But they are too young for nursery. Countdown commence (you know what I’m talking about!) The months leading up to nursery are so difficult. But don’t give up! Even if the majority of time is spent out in the halls, that is better than being at home. Kids learn by watching and through repetition. Keep going and they will get used to it. And even if they still throw fits and every week is a battle, it is worth it.

4.      Multiples. Having two or more kids and going to church by yourself is a daunting task. They out number you. Sometimes it feels as though wrestling with them the whole time and missing the majority of what is being taught seems as though it isn’t worth all the hustle. But it is! Enlist help. I am blessed to have my parents help and when they occasionally miss there are other friends and ward members that come to my aid. Suck up your pride and allow help. That is what a ward family is for. As I mentioned on my website, http://humclasses.byu.edu/abjc1415/, being single doesn’t mean being alone. Let your kids help and entertain each other. They will only be little for a short time and then you will probably have to be poking them to keep them awake during church!

"I am different; I’m not like everyone else."

5.      What about me? It is so easy as a mom to forget about yourself. You are usually the last priority. Your wants and needs fall behind the kids, bills, work, and everything else. This is true for church and spiritual matters as well. But don’t let it be! On many occasions I have found myself sitting in a Relief Society lesson feeling completely left out because I have been in and out feeding a baby or calming a fussy child. Or looking around thinking, I am different; I’m not like everyone else. This is true actually. You are not like everyone else. No one is. We are each individuals with individual lives and trials. But the one way we are connected is the desire to be like our Savior and following His path. Don’t allow yourself to feel unimportant in the gospel. You are doing the right thing. Heavenly Father is aware of you and proud of your faith and diligence. Keep going. Don’t give up on yourself!

Being a single Mormon mommy is hard. There is no getting around it. But the precious moments when I hear my daughter pray or she asks me to sing I Am a Child of God to hear before bed are moments I would never give up for anything. The gospel of Jesus Christ shows me how to be the best mom and woman I can be.