Sunday Fun Day?

How to Love and Survive Going to Church

As a member of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints church attendance has always been very important to me. I feel like a piece of me is missing when I miss a week of church. My sweet 2 year-old daughter already loves church! She gets excited whenever I mention it. Although she loves going to church, it isn’t necessarily always a smooth and easy experience. For us single moms, church often is a difficult battle in many ways.

Here is a list of the top 5 things that can go wrong and how to handle the issues.

1.      Sickness. It seems like since my daughter Charity started attending nursery 6 months ago she has been sick every 5 to 6 weeks. This in itself is an issue. Where is she getting sick? Most likely nursery. That place can be a breeding ground for illness, not because it is dirty or anything, but just the amount of young kids in the same place chewing on the same toys week after week. I try to gauge Charity’s sickness between stay at home sick, stay with mom in Relief Society sick, and little sniffle nursery is OK sick. It is hard because we both hate missing church. And she especially hates staying in RS with me. What I have to tell myself, and tell you, is that it is OK, it is only one week. It is better to be safe than sorry, as they say. Keep the sickness away from the others.

2.      Sacrament Meeting. This is the most important and vital part of church attendance. It is also the most difficult part with little kiddos. Sacrament Meeting lasts an hour and fifteen minutes. A child’s attention span, about 2 minutes. It is a long time for kids to stay quite. A few tools I have found are to bring LOTS of snacks, LOTS of books, LOTS of crayons and paper, and LOTS of quiet toys. Everyone is happier when food is involved. I swear Charity is always munching on something. As far as books and toys, I try to keep church toys and other daily toys separate. This is not only making the toys seem almost brand new each week (2 minute attention span, remember?) but it is also teaching her that church is different. I try to keep gospel related books and toys for church. She loves her “Jesus book” and I love how she loves it.

3.      The 9-18 month stage. Yep, we all know it. If you don’t yet, you will. A child at this age wants anything but to sit quietly for 3 hours. Heck, don’t we all feel the same? Church can be long. This is a challenging stage because these kids have been changing rapidly, learning to walk and talk and how to play and explore in new capacities. Sitting on mommy’s lap listening to an old guy talk for an hour or so is not what they want. But they are too young for nursery. Countdown commence (you know what I’m talking about!) The months leading up to nursery are so difficult. But don’t give up! Even if the majority of time is spent out in the halls, that is better than being at home. Kids learn by watching and through repetition. Keep going and they will get used to it. And even if they still throw fits and every week is a battle, it is worth it.

4.      Multiples. Having two or more kids and going to church by yourself is a daunting task. They out number you. Sometimes it feels as though wrestling with them the whole time and missing the majority of what is being taught seems as though it isn’t worth all the hustle. But it is! Enlist help. I am blessed to have my parents help and when they occasionally miss there are other friends and ward members that come to my aid. Suck up your pride and allow help. That is what a ward family is for. As I mentioned on my website, http://humclasses.byu.edu/abjc1415/, being single doesn’t mean being alone. Let your kids help and entertain each other. They will only be little for a short time and then you will probably have to be poking them to keep them awake during church!

"I am different; I’m not like everyone else."

5.      What about me? It is so easy as a mom to forget about yourself. You are usually the last priority. Your wants and needs fall behind the kids, bills, work, and everything else. This is true for church and spiritual matters as well. But don’t let it be! On many occasions I have found myself sitting in a Relief Society lesson feeling completely left out because I have been in and out feeding a baby or calming a fussy child. Or looking around thinking, I am different; I’m not like everyone else. This is true actually. You are not like everyone else. No one is. We are each individuals with individual lives and trials. But the one way we are connected is the desire to be like our Savior and following His path. Don’t allow yourself to feel unimportant in the gospel. You are doing the right thing. Heavenly Father is aware of you and proud of your faith and diligence. Keep going. Don’t give up on yourself!

Being a single Mormon mommy is hard. There is no getting around it. But the precious moments when I hear my daughter pray or she asks me to sing I Am a Child of God to hear before bed are moments I would never give up for anything. The gospel of Jesus Christ shows me how to be the best mom and woman I can be.